As parents, we don’t expect our teen children to get addicted to substances like drugs, alcohol, or tobacco. We assume that this is something that happens in other families. After all, how can my son use drugs or how can my daughter even take a drop of alcohol?

We are all protective of our kids. But we can’t put our heads under the sand and deny the existence of a storm. Hundreds of studies have been conducted in urban schools in India. And, the data clearly shows the increase in the use of substances among teenagers as young as 12 years. 

A survey was conducted among 354 adolescents aged 12-16 years studying in high school in three prominent urban schools in Bangalore. Most common substances used by the young population were-

• 99 adolescents said they consumed alcohol
• 77 of them admitted they engaged in glue sniffing.
• 22 consumed hookah
• 12 smoked cigarettes
• 3 of them had cocaine
• 2 admitted the use of cannabis

 “because the parts of the brain dedicated to judgement, rational decision-making, and self-control are not yet fully developed, teenagers have a higher propensity to experiment with drugs and alcohol. And because of their stage of brain development, they do not always understand the potential risks. The problem is, early drug and alcohol use in adolescence and young adulthood bears the greatest risks, particularly the risk of chronic addiction.”

Turnbridge

Peer pressure:

Many firsts happen when their friend or peer insists on trying “this new thing”. They don’t want to look “out of the league” or don’t want to be seen as a “party spoiler”. So, they take that puff or gulp that alcohol or sniff the powder. 

Media and Movies:

It’s true that the media is the reflection of society. However, the media also influences the society it is trying to mimic. Smoking is portrayed as cool. Toxic masculinity is served as the “normal” thing. Hard drugs and beer, etc get associated with how daring one is.

Although we cannot blame cinema, we can definitely have conversations with our kids. Talk to them regarding how media, ads, and cinema manipulate people into following certain lifestyles and buying certain products. 

Easy availability and access:

Different kinds of substances like cannabis, alcohol, and tobacco are easily accessible. And, with increased affordability, young people manage to find “the right man” or “dealers”. They know a friend, a senior, or an acquaintance who would readily deliver them the substance. Maybe this is why glue sniffing didn’t top the list because other substances are as easily available as glue. 

Mental health issues when ignored and not addressed appropriately can also lead to substance abuse. They can wrongly associate the temporary relief and numbing the emotion as a long-term solution.

Can Parents Know When Their Kids are Falling into Addiction?

If parents are really observing their kids, they would know. Observing doesn’t imply policing and guarding, just plain old noticing changes in their lifestyle, routine, and behavior. These are a few frequently observed changes in young people. Here are four areas you can look at.

Are there frequent shifts in their mood or personality?

Look out for sudden changes. Have they started to withdraw? Do they suddenly get eerily quiet? Have they started to avoid communication, or miss family time and activities that they used to love? If you notice these sudden personality changes or mood swings, then you should start probing. Anger, hostility, secretiveness, and deceitfulness are also red flags. On the contrary, in some cases, they suddenly become hyperactive and becomes unusually happy. It can be love, but it can also mean they are indulging in substance abuse.

Is there any change in how they behave at home, school, etc?

You can observe their sleep pattern. They will have long durations of no sleep at all and then they will sleep for very long hours. Then you can observe their physical coordination, in case of substance abuse they will develop a lack in

Is their physical health getting affected?

As a parent, you are the first person to notice if something is physically bothering your child. Substance abuse has severe negative effects on physical health. These effects start to manifest in the form of

• Frequent sickness
• Unusually tired and/or lethargic
• Unable to speak intelligibly, slurred speech, or rapid-fire speech
• Nosebleeds and/or runny nose, not caused by allergies or a cold
• Sores, spots around the mouth
• Sudden or dramatic weight loss or gain
• Skin abrasions/bruises
• Frequent perspiration
• Seizures and/or vomiting

The early you recognize it, the better it is for you as a family. Once the problem is identified, it’s easier to work on the solutions together with your child.

Are there signs of poor hygiene?

Teens are not famous for hygiene. However, when they indulge in substance abuse, they tend to become more careless. They are not bothered by spatial and physical hygiene. Not even in a month! As they slide into the dark hole of addiction, their sense of self and environment reduces. 

• The smell of smoke or other unusual smells on breath or on clothes
• Messier than usual appearance
• Poor personal hygiene
• Frequently red or flushed cheeks or face
• Burns or soot on fingers or lips
• Track marks on arms or legs (or long sleeves in warm weather to hide marks)

Search their spaces & phone

Their immediate surrounding is where they use the substance and may be hiding them. In normal circumstances, it’s not ok to barge into the personal space of your child. But, as a concerned parent, you must look. Let that concern be visible when you confront them. So, some common areas to look at are- 

• Inside drawers, beneath or between other items In small boxes or cases — think jewelry, makeup or pencil cases, or cases for earbuds
• Under a bed or other pieces of furniture In a plant, buried in the dirt In between or inside books
• Inside empty candy bags
• In fake soda cans or other fake containers designed to conceal
• Look at their call history and see if there are any new contacts
• See if recent messages or social media posts hint at drug use

Apologize to them for checking their personal space. Communicate why you did that and make your concern visible.

How can parents help their children?

After finding out about substance use by your child, you will feel a range of emotions. You will feel anger and disappointment. At the same time, you will be worried and concerned. And, there might be times when you will question your parenting.

You will need to be patient, brave, authoritative, and compassionate. All at the same time! 

No matter how you feel, it is important to remember that at the end of the day you want what’s best for your kid. You want them to have a healthy and fulfilling life in the present and the future.

So, once you have dealt with extreme emotions, only then try to confront your kid. Keep your priorities in perspective, which is not to brandish your child. It is to help them in fighting the addiction and come out of it. 

Create a safe, comfortable, and trusting environment at home:

The first step in dealing with substance abuse is o first acknowledge it. Both the parents and the child need to see the problem. Talk to them when they are not under the influence. Keep all the distractions away so that your child knows their priority in your life. Be prepared to hear some lies and forceful anger. Remain focused on the objective of the conversation. This will help you in keeping your calm.

Take the help of the other parent/ family member

 Make sure that both parents are in agreement. Blaming each other might not be the best idea. So, put up a united front and deal with the situation. If there are other family members in the house, bring them on board, take their constructive input, and work together. 

Resolve to remain calm

You need to be a monk to not get angry the first time you get to know about substance abuse. And, it’s absolutely ok. However, do not let this initial anger overshadow your response to the whole incident. You need to be mindful of the fact that your child is in the phase where they make rash and risky decisions. It doesn’t define their whole life.

As a parent, your only objective is to help them come out of it. Anger or impatience can never bring them back. So, you need to be calm while dealing with it. It is not going to be easy, so, take help. Talk to your partner, or your close friends, or just write your emotions in a journal. And, take a pause or go for a walk and resume after a while if the conversation gets heated.

Take professional help

Take help from a professional- It can be appalling to make your child see a professional. But, if that’s what you need to do to ascertain your child’s well-being, then do not shy away from it.